She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Dignity is for republicans.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
