I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
