Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
