Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
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She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
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I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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