? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
