i need an iv and a liver transplant
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I don't deserve a penis
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
