My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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