your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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