Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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