I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
