I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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