This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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