just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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