i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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