we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
