I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
