Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
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she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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