Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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