I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
