Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
