forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
