So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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