and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
