Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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