I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize
