We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize