for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize