White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
