There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
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