My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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