I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
