Acid is not a monday night drug
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize