Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
