No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
