i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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