just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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