she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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