he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
