I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Boobs speak an international language.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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