I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just want to make out with him forever
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
