My room smells like vodka and shame
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
