Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Houston, we have a blender
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Randomize
