Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Text me some of your sweat
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