Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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