Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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