Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
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It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
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When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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