I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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