I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
