my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
