I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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