she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
only you would photoshop your dick
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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