garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I've blown a few things in my day
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
