My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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