yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
