Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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